At this time’s episode is all about understanding your self. Nick Baumgart, an Enneagram skilled, explains the right way to use the data from the Enneagram in your on a regular basis life. The Enneagram take a look at is used as a solution to perceive your emotional habits. In contrast to different widespread character assessments, the Enneagram focuses much less on what you do and extra on who you’re.

The take a look at breaks down your motivations into three elements: concern, physique, and thoughts. If you actually perceive what motivates you, you’re in a position to see why you act the way in which you do and may begin taking steps to repair any harmful behaviors. This information additionally goes a good distance when interacting with different individuals. This take a look at is ultimate for groups as a result of as a substitute of placing your self of their footwear and nonetheless taking a look at issues out of your perspective you’ll be able to “perceive them of their footwear.” Nick talks about how highly effective of a instrument this take a look at is and the way it may have modified his life if he had discovered it earlier, so do your self a favor and let this take a look at change your life in the present day!

Ashley:
That is Actual Property Rookie, episode 172.

Nick:
And I imply higher. And the individuals round me would’ve had a distinct life too. And I feel, at getting the people who find themselves in your life personally on board as a lot as they’re , the dividends that, that will pay, I can’t even start to let you know. I totally consider that’s my space of ardour for certain.

Ashley:
My title is Ashley Kehr and I’m right here with my co-host Tony Robinson. On this week’s Rookie Reply, we now have a particular visitor for you guys.

Tony:
Such a particular visitor that it virtually felt extra like a remedy session at one level than a daily Rookie Reply. However in the present day we now have Nick on the present and Nick is definitely, an enneagram skilled. And whenever you hear enneagram, it’s a character sort instrument just like the DISC profile or the Myers Briggs. However this one’s a little bit bit completely different and Nick will get into what a few of these variations are and why he feels that this one is definitely, a greater instrument to make use of in your daily life.

Ashley:
Yeah. Nick really, sat down and spent an hour with every Tony and I and went by way of what our sort construction ought to be so this was one thing that was very new to me. Did you ever do any such testing Tony?

Tony:
No. Tyler Madden had talked about it to me that he had gone by way of this earlier than and received quite a lot of worth out of it however this was my first time doing it myself as nicely.

Ashley:
I nonetheless can’t pronounce it appropriately. In order you discover by way of the entire present I keep away from saying the phrase the entire time.

Tony:
Say the phrase now, say it that manner. Let’s simply get-

Ashley:
Enneagram.

Tony:
… woo. There it’s. You’ve received it.

Ashley:
Is that proper?

Tony:
That’s it.

Ashley:
Okay.

Tony:
Yeah. Enneagram.

Ashley:
Let’s save that. We will insert it into completely different elements of the episode. Okay. So we’re going to deliver Nick on and study what varieties Tony and I are. And likewise why that is vital, what worth it will probably deliver to your life and others. Nick, welcome to the podcast. We’re very blissful to have you ever on Tony and I’ve each talked to you a little bit bit earlier than this episode to get some background. I’d love so that you can share with everybody who you’re and why you’re right here in the present day.

Nick:
To start with, thanks for having me on. I do know this isn’t your regular factor however I feel it’s simply a type of common human issues that’ll make anyone extra profitable within the issues they do and that features what you guys are as much as. I’ve listened to a number of of your podcasts, I don’t know the very first thing about what you’re do. Properly, I suppose I now, know the very first thing about what you’re doing however that’s about it.
I’m an enneagram information, I’ve devoted the final a number of years of my life to it and once I say devoted, I imply possibly a little bit obsessively and it’s a instrument… One of the simplest ways to place it’s, it’s a roadmap, a scaffold to grasp ourselves authentically, and others higher and in a manner that’s not placing you right into a field and containing who you’re, I feel a couple of different of those instruments which can be precious are likely to do. In order that’s what I do with my life is, I assist individuals discover their solution to get the filters and the masks off of the little silent voices which can be all the time influencing us and that’s by way of the enneagram.

Ashley:
So what precisely is that?

Nick:
Yeah. Nice query.

Ashley:
Are you able to clarify and break it?

Nick:
No. You all know, don’t you? In fact. So enneagram comes by way of antiquity. It goes all the way in which again to monks and the Trappist monks manner again 1200 years in the past, utilizing this factor as a manner of understanding our emotional habits, our focuses, the issues that inspire us after which that enables us to grasp ourselves actually after which perceive others actually after which development from that. And so manner again when all these years in the past, a whole lot of years in the past, these monks needed to stay collectively. And I don’t learn about you however dwelling with a bunch of dudes who’ve taken a sure set of vows would in all probability, be difficult. And they also discovered that this was a instrument that allowed them to get alongside authentically and fortunately. It was misplaced, it was obscure for lots of years for hundreds of years and received refound within the nineteenth century and actually delivered to life by some people who’re nonetheless doing it in the present day as a sorter of personalities however much less that and extra of an understanding and a roadmap of who we’re.

Ashley:
How does this examine to the DISC profile or different character duties which can be on the market?

Nick:
Thanks a lot for that query as a result of it’s one I’m captivated with. I did all of these issues however I used to be particularly, a Myers Briggs man for a very long time. And man, I nonetheless, I’d by no means fault anyone for locating worth in it, it’s extremely precious. I feel the place it’s precious is at a sure level on our path and our journey and what I learn about lots of people however what I do know particularly, about this neighborhood is that, you guys are actually about self-improvement, actually about rising and never simply staying stagnant. And I feel in the event you’re a type of sorts of individuals and also you wish to develop and it’s important to you that you just develop the Myers Briggs is on that line at a spot the place possibly in the event you don’t perceive what it’s about you that makes you completely different.
I feel the Myers Briggs can let you know actually loudly and actually precisely. I’m an ENFP, I’m emotional, I’m intuitive, I’m a thinker, I’m a perceiver and I do considering earlier than I do judging and I’m an extrovert greater than I’m an introvert. And so you can begin to actually perceive who you’re. However as you hear me say all that, you additionally hear me placing these packing containers round issues. You’re listening to me say, “You’re an introvert and never an extrovert, you’re this, you’re not that.” And I feel there’s a containment that occurs there that’s actually good for letting us perceive our tendencies and our behaviors. The enneagram speaks to our emotional habits, that’s my favourite phrase the place we go emotionally. We’re actually, if we’re paying consideration, normally fairly good at realizing our habits however not our emotional habits.
The place will we land emotionally simply out of behavior? And the enneagram additionally speaks to our priorities, our driving feelings after which it’s by way of that. It says, “Properly, since you are likely to function extra out of concern than anger for example, you are likely to go this fashion,” however the enneagram lets you say, I’m this type of ENFP. It’s about you, the person so you’ll be able to put these issues collectively, I’m a Myers Briggs ENFP however I’m an enneagram seven and that’s the sort of ENFP I’m. And it’s extra about who you’re and fewer about what you do.

Tony:
Simply from my very own private information, what are you on the Myers Briggs?

Nick:
An ENFP.

Tony:
Yeah. [crosstalk 00:06:53]. Received you. What about you, Ashley?

Nick:
[crosstalk 00:06:56].

Ashley:
I do not know.

Tony:
Oh, you’ve by no means taken it earlier than?

Ashley:
I’ve by no means taken it. No, I’ve completed the DISC profile however I’ve by no means taken the Myers Briggs.

Tony:
Okay. What are you on the DISC profile?

Ashley:
I don’t even keep in mind.

Nick:
I don’t know anymore both.

Ashley:
[crosstalk 00:07:03].

Tony:
Ashley, you’re no hope. So on the Myers-

Ashley:
Okay. I’m going to look it up actual fast.

Tony:
… yeah. We’ve received to get… I feel it’ll be cool to have this as a part of the dialog too however on Myers Briggs, I’m an INTJ. I don’t actually keep in mind what all these letters stand for but it surely’s just like the engineer or the scientist or one thing like that’s what they name it. On the DISC profile, I do know I’m a extremely excessive C after which decrease on the D and the I. So that you see some similarities whenever you have a look at a few of these completely different character assessments and I do see quite a lot of the identical character traits within the enneagram as I noticed in my examples of the Myers Briggs or the DISC profile. However what I wish to dig into Nick, and possibly if we are able to set the desk for the listeners right here is, the Myers Briggs talks, are you intuitive versus judging versus this versus that. The DISC is decisive and cautious and I can’t keep in mind what the opposite ones are. What are the completely different, I don’t know… I suppose, classes of the enneagram that individuals’s personalities and motivations et cetera, fall into?

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks for the query. I feel it’s actually essentially the distinction, is you’re speaking about these in each these programs within the Myers Briggs and the DISC and others which can be on the market, that it’s about, “Do you lean this fashion or do you lean that manner? Are you extra of a follower or extra of a pacesetter?” And positively, these issues are endemic to the 9 several types of the enneagram. And once more, enneagram is, ennea is the 9 half in the event you’re into Latin, I’m not. However there are 9 character varieties and fewer character varieties and I exploit that phrase to attempt to relate to the Myers Briggs and stuff but it surely’s actually about these archetypes of sure varieties of people. And people sorts of, once more, motivational, what motivates you and the place your emotional habits are.
So for instance, I’m a seven and sevens are motivated… So we’re a part of the concern triad. So that you’re both motivated by concern or anger or your coronary heart and as a part of the concern triad, I are usually an anxious individual, I don’t are usually an offended individual. In truth, I wrestle in conditions the place I ought to be offended, really, accessing it and doing that however I’m all the time anxious. Now, a seven goes to take care of that by instantly reframing it, discovering a silver lining in, “Life’s good, life’s blissful, we’re all the time optimistic and optimistic.” And from the surface, we have a tendency to only look that manner whereas somebody proper subsequent to me, who’s an eight, so proper close to me on the enneagram is anger based mostly.
And so when issues come of their life which can be difficult, they struggle it, they get their defend, they get their sword they usually’re received to go struggle that factor. So it’s actually about that motivation. So you consider what I simply mentioned and the complexity of it and the way you’d parse that out into these little classes of ENFP or these different issues in DISC. How would you try this? We’re speaking about basic driving feelings in you. The place does that land in Myers Briggs, the place does that land in DISC? And I feel they are often complimentary however that’s the basic distinction, I feel.

Ashley:
Simply earlier than we transfer on actual fast, I did take a minute to look this up. In keeping with the Tony Robbins DISC profile as evaluation, to not be confused with Tony Robinson DISC profile evaluation, I’m a excessive, I.

Nick:
Is sensible.

Tony:
I feel that’s what I preferred concerning the enneagram too Nick, is that, such as you mentioned, the Myers Briggs or the DISC, it talks quite a bit about the way you act however the enneagram was extra so, “Hey, right here’s why you act that manner,” which I feel is a little bit bit extra instructive as a result of in the event you perceive your individual motivations, I feel it lets you do a greater job of being extra self conscious and controlling these weaknesses in your personalities a little bit bit higher. I don’t know. Are there different advantages to the enneagram that I’m lacking? Or would you say that’s the true large factor that’s the motive force there?

Nick:
Yeah. I feel you nailed the middle of it however I feel the piece that we possibly aren’t speaking about as a lot right here that I feel particularly, to your viewers is an enormous deal, is how that entails itself whenever you begin interacting with different individuals whether or not that’s private or skilled, man or man. To me, essentially the most liberating a part of it’s that skill to completely authentically, perceive others. What are we all the time advised? That essentially the most empathetic factor you are able to do is put your self in another person’s footwear, you set your self of their footwear and we try this of out of nice goodwill if we’re being good individuals, we strive. Properly, in the event you try this, you’re simply placing your self of their footwear so all your biases, all of your life expertise, all your emotional habits and you then go put your self of their footwear and say, “Properly, okay, I perceive why they,” no, you don’t. You perceive how you’d be in that state of affairs and the enneagram permits you to really, perceive them of their footwear.
And I feel a type of issues particularly, in enterprise partnerships the place issues may be actually possibly rather less emotionally open, hopefully not however typically. Generally issues can really feel like, “Properly, if I mentioned that, if I did that, it might be as a result of I used to be actually mad, it might be as a result of I didn’t give a crap, it might be due to these,” however possibly in the event you perceive this individual’s sort construction, you perceive that’s in no way what they’re doing, their motivations are simply completely different than yours. You’re a visionary, they’re an in depth individual so after they begin declaring the small print which can be going to collapse, they’re not selecting aside your dream. They’re attempting that can assist you perceive, right here’s some stuff that may go improper. That sort of stuff so I feel the opposite worth is in groups and in relationships, each enterprise {and professional}.

Ashley:
So we talked about the way it’s vital to take heed to your self from studying about your habits and what sort of individual you’re so that you may be extra aware of your habits and the way you work together with individuals. However you touched a little bit bit about relationships and speaking with different individuals whether or not on their crew. So do you ask individuals to go get this testing completed or do you memorize all these varieties after which try to work out what sort they’re? How do you finest strategy that as to determining what somebody’s sort is so as to work together with them appropriately?

Nick:
Man, what an excellent query. One of many cardinal sins for individuals in what I do is that you just by no means sort any person, you need to by no means ever say, “Oh, you’re an eight and I do know that so da, da, da,” as a result of that’s simply a lot placing any person in a field as something. However there is usually a stage of consciousness and so ideally, yeah, Ashley. You’d in the event you had been on a crew, I feel it’d be extremely precious to get all people to go not less than do a tertiary high stage view and get some notion of what sort construction they is perhaps and share that in the event you’re on a crew that I promise you, the payoff for that’s going to be manner increased only for a day or an hour of studying.
What you’ll see come out of that on a crew, I feel can be greater than you could possibly probably think about. That mentioned, as you undergo your life you’ll be able to’t simply encounter every individual and be like, “Right here’s a take a look at. I would like you to take this.” However in the event you spend a while in it even in the event you’re simply spend time on you and your sort construction, we’re all in numerous methods, we’re all of the enneagram numbers. You possibly can’t be fully divorced from any a part of it in the long run, the enneagram is the entire human expertise. And so that you begin to get a way in the event you meet any person who, man, it simply appears like each time you deliver one thing up, they only wish to struggle you and it looks like they like combating you and never simply you, all people. They simply all the time wish to struggle.
And people sort of individuals you’ll be able to suppose, “Man, what a jerk,” in all probability, somebody who’s an eight you don’t know. However from that, you’ll be able to actually begin understanding the rationale they’re that manner is as a result of they actually care. Eights deep at their core, are essentially the most smooth jelly loving individuals and however they’re tremendous delicate and their manner of coping with that and ensuring that everyone that they care about whether or not it’s on a piece crew or a household, they’re going to go struggle. And so in the event you can see it for what it’s you then’ll see it for that versus “Man, what a jerk,” you’ll see them combating for a factor they care about. And so to that finish if you can begin to get that sense, you can begin really, understanding individuals who aren’t such as you.

Ashley:
So you will need to not solely perceive your individual sort however to have an understanding of the opposite varieties so as to have a look at any person and say, “They might be this kind,” and that will be extra useful than simply memorizing what your sort is and realizing that. However getting some information and understanding of others is the place you’re going to get the true profit.

Nick:
Yeah. I’d say you’ll be able to break it into two elements. I’d additionally say I’d transfer from memorizing to having a relationship with who you’re since you actually begin to perceive that individual. And I feel that’s a part of the ability of it versus a few of these different character issues the place, “I’m an ENFP,” this can be a relationship with your self. So at that half and you’ll simply try this and also you’ll be a greater individual to all people you encounter, you’ll be extra profitable in each one among your interactions and within the belongings you do. You simply received’t have the filters and the silent voices you’re not conscious of impacting that. And you could possibly simply try this and I feel that’d be extremely useful however, yeah. When you actually need the max good thing about it, understanding the opposite varieties and understanding not less than the categories, the people who find themselves actually shut in your life, simply on that stage, suppose that’s a tremendous alternative to actually flip up the dial on, on what you’re able to doing with others.

Tony:
So Nick, not solely did we deliver you right here to teach our listeners on the enneagram however you additionally spend a while with Ash and I individually, attending to know us a little bit bit and determining which of these 9 numbers we fell into. And I don’t learn about for you Ash, however virtually it felt like a little bit bit like a remedy session. There was quite a lot of deep, very pointed questions.

Ashley:
Yeah. That was the precise… I texted my buddy proper after I used to be like, “I feel I simply had a remedy session.”

Tony:
So Nick, I feel Ash and I’d each love if we may share with the listeners what variety of class we fell into after which simply have a dialogue round what precisely that quantity entails and simply have a fluid dialogue round it.

Nick:
Positive. And simply to kick it off, that typing interview is so completely different than the work you’d do when you’re typed. And I completely, it’s like I mentioned it to each of you, it’s like a police, you’ve received the sunshine on you and it’s like an interrogation and it’s intense. So thanks each for doing that with me. I actually admire it.

Ashley:
Properly, the questions are arduous. You actually have to consider your self.

Nick:
Yeah. So thanks for doing that. I admire you taking the time and being so open. I feel what we landed on for each of you which of them is de facto fascinating to me is an enneagram sort construction of six. Ashley, there was a little bit bit extra ambiguity with as a result of you’ve gotten quite a lot of that seven vitality. I’m a seven so it takes one to know one. And I feel what’s fascinating about that although and I used to be hypothesizing with each of you if I ponder if in communities of individuals like this, who’re pushed to make their lives higher and to search out safety that you just’re going to come across extra sixes, I don’t know. And right here’s why, sixes as a sort construction, their behavior of my is doubt. Doubt about, and once more, we return to that is your root stage.
All of us work to grow to be higher and never let these items personal us however sixes, have a tendency to search out themselves doubting issues after which looking for a solution to place confidence in these issues. So sixes can also have essentially the most religion out of any sort construction relying on the place they’re. And their driving emotion is, as I discussed earlier, concern. So doubt and concern and also you’re beginning to hear these phrases. I’m going to day trip for one second and let you know one other factor I really like concerning the enneagram. It actually doesn’t pat you on the again, it doesn’t say you’re wonderful as a result of it just about is available in and says, “Right here’s what’s in all probability, a problem for you.” And the enjoyable a part of working in your sort construction is lowering the influence of that however, yeah. As I proceed to speak to you right here in entrance of all of your listeners, I’m in all probability, going to inform the issues that don’t sound like rah, rah and that’s simply the character of the enneagram. That’s simply how it’s.
However your focus of attentions as a six is to search out the hazards and so that is all of the unhealthy stuff however right here’s the factor that makes sixes so essentially wonderful is that they’ve an virtually supernatural skill to do this, to search out the hazards on the earth, see them coming, get a plan collectively to both mitigate it or fully keep away from it. And try this particularly, for his or her small circle of individuals, that’s typically their household, their precise literal, household. However sixes additionally make households out of the individuals they wish to however they do that as a lot or extra for these individuals as they do for themselves. And in the event you see a six at work, actually doing their factor, it’s supernatural. They’ll simply see all of it coming and plan and have it found out earlier than it will get there.
So I felt quite a lot of that from each of you. After which after listening to a few of your podcasts, it’s clear that you just’re simply doing that every day which is why I ponder in case your viewers is overrepresented with sixes however, yeah. I feel each of you’re there. If I can simply pradal on a little bit longer Ashley, I feel on the enneagram numbers, like I mentioned, we’re related to all of them however we’re related to outdoors of our particular sort construction for in stronger methods. So we now have a quantity will slide to in stress or some individuals say dis integration and a quantity we slide to after we’re extra calm, integration, some individuals say after which we now have wings. So the wings are simply, you’re going to lean to the fitting or the left.
When you’re a six, you may lean 5, in the event you’re six, you may lean seven. And I actually really feel Tony, you lean heavy to the 5 which is the engineer as you talked about. My brother’s a 5, he actually sends satellites into area. He owns a satellite tv for pc firm after which the sevens are me, simply an excessive amount of vitality and I simply make all people uncomfortable. So it’s that vitality of positivity and all that and Ashley actually talked about seeking to the longer term which is such a seven factor to do, is to have optimistic plans on the books to have a optimistic spin on issues. If issues begin getting aggravating, sure, sevens stress they’re ain’t anxious identical to sixes however they go someplace with that. It’s extra optimistic, attempt to preserve it optimistic after which fives are these thinkers and I don’t suppose both of you’re a 5 or a seven however you undoubtedly, lean that manner. And I feel what’s actually fascinating is how that reveals up between the 2 of you.

Ashley:
That’s why we make the perfect crew as cohost.

Tony:
So, Nick, I wish to discuss a little bit bit about a number of the limitations or not limitations however a number of the character quirks that possibly make it a little bit bit harder for sixes as a result of as I used to be studying, I feel that was the half that jumped out to me. So we talked about a number of the shrainings of being a six however what are a number of the limitations and the way can Ash and I mitigate a few of these in our daily lives?

Nick:
Thanks. That’s an excellent query. What’s fascinating about sixes is, the quantity I can consider, the kind construction on the enneagram that’s the most, their dichotomy, their strengths or their weaknesses and that’s so not often the case. Sixes are hypervigilant, finish of story. And that’s what makes them so wonderful at making ready and planning for his or her lives and seeing issues by way of and doing that. You understand what else it does is, it will get of their manner, the nervousness, the eager about all these issues that may go improper, it will probably result in pessimism, it will probably result in doubt. It could possibly result in these sorts of issues which… They usually can begin to spin. So the factor that makes them wonderful at being them can also be the factor that holds them again and in relationships, together with and particularly, skilled relationships can simply decelerate the practice, can get caught and mired in that area.
They usually can also get they’re involved with loyalty and to allow them to discover themselves in a distrusting place. And I feel, boy, anytime you’re going to do one thing large in your life, When you’re going to begin a brand new partnership with any person, all of us have hesitancy as a result of it’s an enormous deal. However my goodness, if you’re so wrapped up within the thought, “If I can belief this individual, will they be loyal, dah, dah, dah,” that may maintain you again from quite a lot of issues.
And people are some main challenges that sixes face and likewise there can sometimes, be a self-doubt piece that comes into that. When you ever are blindsided by one thing as a six, man or man, can that land like a, “How did I not see this coming? How did I not, I’ve this superpower?” And that may actually be a result in self-doubt as nicely. And I feel the wonderful factor about development within the enneagram versus development by way of different instruments is, you’re not addressing the truth that you’re too introverted or no matter, you’re addressing the truth that,”Man, right here’s this large factor that I’m all the time centered on and the way is that impacting the way in which I see the whole lot.” And so getting out of that may be actually highly effective.

Ashley:
What are some instruments and sources that we are able to go to discover ways to, we’re a sort six however we wish to be the perfect sort six we may be?

Nick:
Yeah. I despatched you guys, hopefully you’ll be able to put up some hyperlinks and issues. To me, the authority the place I’ve completed nearly all of my studying because the narrative within the enneagram, they’re the OGs, if you’ll, of the enneagram they usually’re passionate, they preserve updating not simply their terminologies however their methods of eager about it. You heard me say a pair instances all through this, “Oh, some individuals use this verbiage and a few individuals use that.” They’re all the time actually eager about how, they’re by no means completed they usually don’t suppose they’ve it found out. And I feel that’s actually wonderful and I’ve completed quite a lot of stuff there. So the narrativeenneagram.com, there’s two books that basically kicked off my journey that change my life and that’s The Path Again to You and The Highway Between Us or I may need gotten the trail and the street inverted on that but it surely’s one thing about roads.
And so The Highway Again to You and The Path Between Us, it’s written by a few pastors which is simply from that perspective they’re in no way… It’s not from the angle of that religion however it’s, it’s their life expertise, it’s their discovered expertise. And they also share the way it works of their world so these are nice locations to begin. After which I actually really feel like there’s a lot you are able to do with studying and assessments and issues however there’s simply actually no substitute for speaking to any person. So clearly, me and folks like me who can sit down and actually work with you and your particular person, your sort construction and understanding it after which lessening its influence.

Ashley:
Let me ask you this, so after you talked with us and we recognized our sort construction, did you come into this interview realizing or having a plan, the right way to work together with us based mostly on our sort construction? And what does that appear like, what’s the easiest way to work together with a six?

Nick:
You understand what’s fascinating? That’s an excellent query, thanks. Sure and no, is the reply. Understanding sort buildings simply routinely, as quickly as you, in the event you’ve been shortly and also you’ve invested in it, you perceive a six and so I feel simply routinely, we’ll return to the Myers Briggs right here. My N, means I’m intuitive so that you’re both intuitive or considering. So after you have the understanding, I feel you do on some stage shift, the way in which you communicate. I actually, am not speaking to you the way in which I discuss to a one or a 3 however I don’t suppose it adjustments the underlying, it’s possibly simply talking a barely completely different language. And I feel for sixes, it’s letting possibly a little bit bit extra of me out personally. As a result of sixes wish to know they will belief you, sixes wish to know that you just’re a human being on this world with them.
If I got here in like a one and one particularly, are very element oriented, they’ve a really loud internal critic they usually search for the whole lot that may very well be improper and so completely different than sixes who search for issues that might go improper. And if I began doing that and bringing that vitality, I feel there’s quite a lot of, that will make you guys really feel rather less snug. So I feel it goes again to that factor we talked about, in the event you perceive different varieties you’ll be able to simply be of their area with them in a manner that’s a little bit extra genuine.

Tony:
Yeah. I’m considering as you had been speaking, Nick and it’s like, I really feel like I ought to actually simply do all of those with my spouse and my son, my son’s 14 years. So I feel he’s sufficiently old to get the worth out of this however how cool would that be if, as a household, we perceive one another’s enneagrams, we perceive one another’s Myers Briggs, their DISC profiles, man, what may that do to {our relationships}? So I’m simply considering out loud proper now however man, what a cool… I don’t suppose households try this sufficient, understanding the place the opposite individual’s coming from.

Ashley:
Yeah. I feel you consider it extra of like groups at your work-

Tony:
Enterprise.

Ashley:
… enterprise however not into your loved ones.

Nick:
Properly, Tony, thanks. I imply, I do know I’m right here speaking to this viewers who has a particular curiosity and this can be a little off that matter however boy, I feel if I’m simply going to be actually blunt, that’s the actual mom load of worth within the new sport is what you simply mentioned. I imply, I didn’t point out it initially, I used to be going to however the way in which I discovered it’s I discovered myself very abruptly and really unexpectedly divorced and my life was simply upended and that’s when the enneagram got here into my life.
And I’ll let you know the primary factor I saved considering as I simply began dipping my toes after which digging is, I’m like, “I’d’ve had a distinct life if I’d have had the enneagram previous to,” I imply, if I may have gone again to my twenties, I’d’ve had a totally completely different life and I imply higher. And the individuals round me would’ve had a distinct life too and I feel, at getting the people who find themselves in your life personally on board as a lot as they’re , the dividends that will pay, I can’t even start to let you know, I totally consider that’s my space of ardour for certain.

Ashley:
I see these and I don’t know a lot about this in any respect however like zodiac indicators or your horoscope, issues like that. I see issues on-line the place it’s like, “Oh, in the event you’re a Scorpio you match with an Aquarius,” I don’t even know if that’s one other one, I simply know I’m a Scorpio. And it’s like, you match nicely with that individual in enterprise smart and even relationship smart. Are you able to have a look at these varieties and there’s higher individuals that you just’ll work with or it doesn’t even matter in any respect? As a result of I noticed within the one worksheet, there was the thoughts, the physique and the center and a few of them had been categorized. Are you able to go into that a little bit extra too?

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks. So one of many issues I actually love concerning the enneagram too is, as a result of it’s treating us like individuals and never like pc packages that we are able to type into various things, is that there’s the somatic piece. So you actually introduced that half up so our physique half and that’s the place we are likely to course of the whole lot in our lives. So the pinnacle varieties which is 5, six and 7. We actually, take the complete world in, we course of it and we do the whole lot we do by way of our brains. And it not often goes any decrease and if it does, we’re not snug with it. I’m one, I completely get that. And you then transfer into simply, which manner we’re going to go? We’ll go eight, 9 and one, these are the physique sort, the very backside and that’s the anger sort.
It comes from their stomach, it rages and somebody like a 9, you deliver that as much as them you say, “Oh, you’re actually anger pushed.” And like, “No, I’m by no means offended,” that’s precisely it. They’re so good, their complete life is pushed by not being offended. If there’s tumultuous state of affairs, they’re those who can slip their ft into all people’s footwear, make the whole lot okay and transfer alongside. As a result of like, man, I simply don’t need any anger but it surely’s nonetheless anger pushed. After which there’s the center varieties which I feel all of us can intuitively perceive, they stay their life by way of their feelings and the issues that make them really feel heat or not so heat. And so what’s fascinating is your query is, is there higher combined matches for enterprise relationships or private relationships?
And I feel on some stage there’s a pure tendency to search out ourselves, a thinker and a doer and we all know that’s true. That quite a lot of the strongest partnerships possibly the strongest partnerships ever. Apple, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, Jobs was clearly the thinker and Wozniak was clearly the doer and look what it did and so clearly, these are going to be two differing kinds. I’m guessing, Jobs was one thing like a seven and I’m guessing, that Wozniak was one thing like a 5.
Now, I don’t know however you’re in all probability, going to search out your self drawn to that. However I’d problem the notion that in the long run in the event you’re each wholesome conscious of your sort construction, conscious of one another’s sort buildings, that there isn’t a mixture that wouldn’t work. And I feel it’s about that dedication, that dedication to being the perfect clean you may be, being finest six you may be. And I feel from there, that’s the place I really like the enneagram is as a result of we’re all people and the enneagram permits for and encourages you to only be who you’re. And you’ll be two completely completely different individuals and each be sixes so I hope that solutions your query.

Ashley:
Yeah. It does, thanks.

Tony:
Properly, one factor I wish to touch upon actually shortly, Nick. You apologize for speaking concerning the private relationship side of the enneagram. However man, I feel that’s tremendous vital whilst all of us who’re investing in actual property, these of you which can be listening to this podcast and wish to begin investing in actual property, you’re doing so as a result of you’ve gotten this image in your thoughts of what you need your life to be like.
And for a lot of of you there’s clearly, the monetary half the place you’ve gotten this monetary freedom, this monetary safety however I’m certain for everybody that’s listening, there’s additionally a relational a part of that image of your life as nicely. And it’s like, what good is constructing this large monetary fortress in the event you’re in there by your self? And I feel having the ability to actually perceive who you’re as an individual and the way you’re employed with different individuals is vital. My spouse and I, like I mentioned, we haven’t completed this but however I undoubtedly, wish to make her do it now. I say, make her do it. I imply, ask her to do it as a result of I’m certain, I can’t make my spouse do something.

Ashley:
[crosstalk 00:33:45] we already know who wears the pants in that family.

Tony:
Yeah. When you guys know my spouse, I can’t make her do something however we learn a ebook in our mid twenties, possibly it. It’s known as The 5 Love Languages and that ebook was tremendous useful for us as a pair as a result of it gave us a greater understanding of who the opposite individual was. And we nonetheless actually, use the language that we picked up in that ebook in the present day about how we work together with one another. So that is me extra so simply giving recommendation to everybody based mostly on what’s labored for me is, in the event you can perceive your companion, your romantic companion, your mother or father, your buddy, whoever it’s in a deeper manner, it actually does unlock a brand new stage in that relationship.

Ashley:
Tony, I feel that ebook even applies to enterprise relationships too. I’m going to an actual property investor’s wedding ceremony and there’s an entire group textual content going of, “His love language is reward giving, we now have to do one thing superior for him.” And all people’s week is consumed, attempting to determine what reward to present him so I feel it’s a solution to present appreciation too, in the event you do go together with what any person’s love language is just too and never simply in private relationships.

Nick:
If I can piggyback off of that, man, if you’re seeing the… And by the way in which I used to be a love languages man too. After I say that I’ve been into all these items, I’ve been into all these items. You guys are speaking about, the love languages I dig it and I feel you’re seeing the worth of simply these 5 little, “Oh, reward giver,” or “Phrases of affirmation.” And also you see the worth in realizing that being aware of it after which, such as you mentioned, are you approaching your spouse in a different way, Tony? Not consciously, however . So simply on a second to second foundation, you’re. You’re not considering, “Oh, reward giving,” or no matter your spouse’s is, it’s simply there and also you simply know and so that you’re a greater individual to your spouse. And in the event you may broaden that infinitely, I imply, orders of magnitude, that’s simply what the enneagram is however on an excellent richer, deeper stage.
And in the event you may perceive your spouse as a 4 my goodness, all of the little particulars, all of the nuances, all of the minutia, you’d be so ready to grasp these issues. And one different factor I simply wish to add is you had been speaking about you guys are pushed to construct these castles as a result of you’ve gotten this image of a life you wish to get to. And in working with pushed individuals such as you guys, one of many issues I most incessantly work on is how do you do the love half and the life half when you’re on that practice? As a result of you’ll be able to work so arduous and it’s for these individuals that you just love. It’s not since you’re egocentric otherwise you’re ignoring them however man, it may be potential to simply try this. And so a number of the work is an understanding on the journey earlier than you get to that imaginative and prescient, how will we preserve life working proper now in a extremely optimistic, fulfilling manner? In order that’s one of many issues that the enneagram’s nice at.

Tony:
Man, Nick, that is the place the remedy session kicks in as a result of what you’re saying is one thing that I wrestle with, truthfully. I ended working my W-2 job again in 2020 however I nonetheless do discover myself working quite a bit however the motivation is completely different now earlier than is as a result of, “I wished to maintain my job, I wished the following promotion, I wished a elevate.” Now, it’s like, “Shit, if I’m not working then who is aware of what’s going to occur to my enterprise?” And there’s this insatiable need to continue to grow as a result of in that development, I really feel a way of safety. But additionally the rationale why I don’t ever wish to return to a day job is as a result of I need that freedom and that flexibility of time.
So I’ve that alternative however quite a lot of days I’m selecting to actually make investments it into the enterprise. And what makes it much more tough is that I do know my spouse and my son, their love language is high quality time. So I’ve to be very cognizant of this drive that I’ve and ensuring that I’m preserving it in examine in order that I’m not pushed to the purpose that it decimate my relationships with the people who I really like essentially the most. So man, it’s a extremely deep dialog however one which I’m glad that we’re having.

Nick:
Properly, and I simply wish to level out only for anyone who’s being launched to this proper now, no matter 20 minutes in the past, I mentioned, “Properly, what’s sixes, what’s their emotional behavior, what’s their focus of consideration?” It’s safety in an unsafe world and it’s planning and all of the doubt and the da da. And man, as you’re speaking there, I’m like, “Geez, are you simply promoting the six factor on objective?” Is it like, “I wish to make it clear I’m a six,” since you actually simply mentioned all these issues. And the ability in that and what’s enjoyable about how correct that’s man, can you then handle it so particularly, are you able to have a look at useless within the eye and begin mitigating its influence?
Whereas what are you going to do with the ENFP or INTJ, such as you mentioned you had been? How do you’re taking that as a instrument and be like, “I’m going to be higher.” However boy, would it not be straightforward so that you can have a look at the precise belongings you simply mentioned and know that’s a behavior and know that in the event you had been doing every other job in every other place on the earth, you’d nonetheless be battling that precise factor. And that I feel it’s liberating as a result of it’s like, “Properly, I’m not a slave to it and it’s additionally empowering,” since you’re like, “Now, I do know what it’s, I can go get it.” After which people who’re pushed like that, aren’t okay with it simply sitting there. As soon as, what it’s, you’re going to wish to go deal with it. I simply suppose it’s so [inaudible 00:39:11], I like it.

Tony:
Yeah.

Ashley:
And the truth that you’re very aware of what your loved ones wants from you that as a substitute of, “Properly, I’m working to make us tons of cash so you’ll be able to go and purchase no matter you need,” the place that doesn’t matter to them, the place you’re discovering that stability of spending high quality time with them and being aware of that, I feel it’s simply an enormous factor.

Nick:
That’s additionally one other large six factor, proper? It’s all the time, like I mentioned initially, it’s much less about them and extra concerning the individuals they love, each time.

Ashley:
That’s humorous. And I really feel such as you use the improper phrases for me to deliver this up as a result of I really feel prefer it’s on the improper message. However whenever you care about any person, like I took on a brand new enterprise companion and the thrill and simply him attending to stop his job was extra of a motivator for me than me being like, “Oh, I could make this a lot cash on this month.” I labored a lot tougher, I felt like as a result of I wished to say to him, “I advised you could possibly stop your job.” However the way you simply mentioned that individuals, you care about your pals, your loved ones, individuals, which means one thing to you is a big motivator and also you care about that extra. I undoubtedly, establish with that as a six.

Nick:
Man, it goes again to that six factor of it’s typically and most frequently their precise household however like I mentioned, on the very starting of this, boy, sixes prefer to make their very own households too. Like, “Yeah. You’re my household now.” And I’m guessing, I don’t know however I’m guessing, whoever this enterprise companion you’ve gotten now isn’t only a good enterprise individual, a tough employee, in all probability, are all these issues. However I’m guessing, you had been excited as a result of, “That’s my household,” you’ve chosen this individual to be somebody in your circle versus simply, “Right here’s a enterprise alternative,” I’m guessing.

Ashley:
Yeah. And even Tony has introduced me into his household too in the event you have a look at his textual content messages, I’m pinned on the high of the very choose few, the internal circle of household.

Nick:
I imply, we’re sitting with a {couples} part right here, it seems to be like.

Tony:
Nick, you shared so many good issues and I actually hope everybody that’s listening takes the time to exit and full an enneagram for themselves to allow them to get a greater understanding of their very own character sort. However I don’t know, Nick, is there anything we must always know concerning the enneagram, the way it’s helpful earlier than we wrap issues up right here?

Nick:
I’d simply throw out the 80/20 precept has by no means been extra true of something on the earth. You’re going to get 80% of the worth by simply placing 20% into this factor. And also you’ll simply be blown away. Now, my guess is that after you get that, you’ll suppose, “Holy cow, what else can I do with this?” And in that case pursue, do it such as you do with something that’s a instrument in your life. However I promise you’ve gotten my phrase that in the event you simply do it a tertiary high stage factor with this, you’ll already begin seeing simply wonderful payoffs in your life.

Ashley:
Superior. Properly, thanks a lot, Nick. Are you able to inform everybody the place they will attain out to you or discover out some extra data?

Nick:
Positive. One of the simplest ways is simply NB, I’m Nick Baumgart so nbenneagram.com. There’s a couple of sources there however largely it’s only a solution to get ahold of me. After which once more, I’d simply lead all people as a lot as I may to The Narrative Enneagram to me, they’re simply the authority out on the earth. It’s the place I’ve discovered virtually the whole lot I do know. After which one final little factor, there are assessments and I feel the perfect one is that The Narrative Enneagram, you need to pay them 10 bucks. However I’d simply say, as a result of I discussed that we’re all related to all of the numbers and we now have these wings and we now have these strains that we transfer to, taking a take a look at it will probably begin to really feel a little bit bit like astrology, “Each single one among these numbers feels like me.” And since to a point that it’s.
So in the event you do take a take a look at, I’d say, just be sure you learn and there’s going to be one that basically nails you and never in a great way. You’re going to really feel like somebody known as you out in your crap and also you’re not going to love it that’s in all probability, your precise sort construction. However there’s actually no substitute for being able to have somebody undergo a typing interview with you whether or not that’s me or not and having the ability to get the subtleties and the dialog that you just guys talked about, the remedy session to actually get in there. So by all means, take a take a look at however preserve going.

Ashley:
Yeah, Nick, I’ve to say speaking to you was so a lot better. And like Tony mentioned, a remedy session the place for me to take a seat down and take a take a look at I’d simply rush by way of it to get it over with. And it in all probability, wouldn’t even find yourself being correct as a result of I’d simply wish to get it completed and over with it, click on by way of the whole lot [crosstalk 00:43:32].

Nick:
Or reply the way in which you wished [crosstalk 00:43:34].

Ashley:
Yeah. So I feel it was much more intentional doing it head to head or Zoom to Zoom and getting to speak with you. So thanks for taking the time to do this with each of us.

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks. That was nice.

Ashley:
I’m Ashley @wealthfromrentals and he’s Tony @tonyjrobinson on Instagram. And thanks guys a lot for becoming a member of us, we will probably be again on Wednesday with one other visitor. We’ll see you subsequent time and keep in mind sixes guidelines and others drool.

Nick:
I like it.

 



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